***Excerpt*** Crown Royal on Ice



“Hey honey, how was your day?” I decided to beat around the bush. What good would it be to rush right into it?

“Still going actually, what do you need?”

“What I need is you actually?” I said with a creased brow, the abrupt question caught me off guard.

“Is that so? I’m in the middle of a conference call right now. Can I call you back?”

“A conference call?” I was truly stunned that he would lie like that considering I am following him at the moment.

“Yes, I am assuming that’s why you called my cell. I’m going to have to call you back. Give me a few, alright? Love you.”

“…” I didn’t get to answer him because he hung up. Considering that I was still following his car, I decided to keep going to see just where he was going.

After a good stent on the highway, several other twists and turns he pulled into a driveway of a nice little bungalow style cottage. The urgency in his steps was astonishing as he exited the vehicle and practically ran to the door. Before I could be detected, I had shut off my lights and parked close enough to see who would answer. Instead of ringing the doorbell or knocking, he let himself inside as if he lived there. Although it was extremely risky and borderline stalker style, I exited the car before I could talk myself out of it.

Securing the sash to the raincoat I wore, I tiptoed across the street and up the long drive way. The quiet suburban neighborhood was sure to have a neighborhood watch and I was hoping like hell they weren’t watching me creep around this unknown person’s house. The closer I got to the rear of the house, the more anxious I became. What if someone hears me? What if someone spots me? How will I explain any of this to the police? The curiosity in me wouldn’t let me turn away, I had to see what my husband was up to.

The reason he lied about being on a conference call, I needed to know. There were too many loopholes in his many tales and tonight I planned to get answers. The window near the end of the driveway had to belong to the dining room or kitchen. Ducking down so as whoever was inside wouldn’t see me until I was prepared for them too, I leaned against the house and counted to three. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for what I would witness.

On the table, with the curtains drawn not giving a damn who saw was my husband of three years pumping into another woman. Not just any woman, Dr. Romirez lulled her head back allowing all the hard thrusts he had to deliver. They were in such a hurry that they were basically fully clothed except for the most intimate parts. Hard and fast was how he was giving it to her. Too stunned to move, I stood and watched my marriage go down the drain.

“Freeze!” I heard a loud voice boom. “Hands in the air,” he further stated.

“…” Doing exactly what the officer said I assumed the position.

“What the hell do you think you are doing? Creeping around people’s houses in the dark,” he questioned after putting me cuffs. Calling for back and a female officer, he waited. “What kind peeping Tom shit is this? You are outside half dressed, for what?”

“I followed my husband here if you must know.”

“Your husband and where is this so called husband?” From his tone, it was clear he didn’t believe me.

“Yes my husband, who is now inside fucking our marriage counselor?” Something I said must have shocked him speechless because he stiffened up instantly.

“What did you just say?”

“I said he is,” I didn’t get to finish my statement before another car rolled to a stop and other officers exited the car.

“Romirez, what do we have here?” The other officer asked approaching the rear of the squad car. In my mind, I am thinking surely this isn’t who I think it is. There is no way that the officer that apprehended me could belong to the woman who was inside committing adultery with my husband.

“This is too rich, Romirez? You wouldn’t happen to be married to a Dr. Romirez would you?”

“What’s going on here?” The same officer questioned. The heavy panting coming from the man next to me was starting to scare me. Especially since he now has his firearm drawn, nothing good can come from this. Just then, the front door opened revealing a disheveled looking man who appeared to be adjusting his suit. At the sight of lights, he stopped all movement to stare in wonderment.

“You mind telling me, what you are doing in my house?” The officer now known as Romirez asked aloud. By now, the neighbors had begun to assemble on their lawns.


“Yes Harold, please tell them why you were inside of this man’s house?”

“Joycelynn, what the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing but seeing as though I have already witnessed your session through the dining room window, there isn’t much need for a reply.”

“You, zip it!”

“…” The black woman in me wanted to roll my neck and snap my fingers but since he was holding a firearm, I thought better of it.

“Harold is it? If you would be so kind as to give a little tap to the door and have Dr. Romirez to step out onto the porch.” Harold raised his hands in the air as officer Romirez waved his gun about in a carefree manner. Finally, he issued a little tap that even a bird couldn’t hear. “LOUDER!”

“WHA…Oh honey, what are… I can explain!” Officer Romirez was now pointing the gun at the porch; there was no telling whom he was aiming for.

“Whoa, Romirez calm down. You don’t want to do this.”

“You had better get to packing, screw explaining. In fact, you have sixty seconds flat to get off my property. THE BOTH OF YOU,” he shouted. Harold didn’t waste a second in scooting to his car, never taking his eyes off the officer with the weapon. “Why are you still standing there, you probably should catch a ride?”

“But… My purse is inside. We can…”

“I did not stutter, get off of my porch, and expect divorce papers real soon. Your stuff will be shipped to your mother’s place and be happy I am being that generous.” Pulling the hammer back on the gun, the woman wasted no more time in trying to grab what she could from inside the doorway. Leaping off of the porch, she made a beeline to the rear of the house. He didn’t lower his gun until she was pulling out of the driveway right after Harold’s no good tail.

“What should we do with this one?”

“I believe Joycelynn and I have some things to discuss.” Romirez said while gaging my reaction to his statement.

“Uh, sure.”

“If you are certain…”

“I’m fine, nothing is going to happen. Unless she would like a citation for being a peeping Tom.”

“No thank you,” I offered sighing in relief as the cuffs were removed. Although he still seemed livid, he was speaking in a calm fashion. When everyone left and the neighbors finally realized there was nothing more to see, they went to their respectable homes.

Leaning up against the cruiser, neither of us said a thing. The silence was welcomed because there were so many raging thoughts flowing through both of the tattered minds. One thing was for sure; Harold had better either pack his stuff or call the cops to meet him at our place before I get there. All hell is going to break loose, if not.

“How could I have been so stupid?”


“I apologize for trespassing on your property. I followed him here when I went to surprise him at his office. Hence, the reason I am dressed like this. He lied as natural as it was to breathe and told me he was still at the office. I was already behind him. Curiosity got the best of me, I guess.”


“Maybe I should have asked some of your fellow officers to meet me at my home to be sure I behave.”

“How long has my wife been your marriage counselor?”

“Three months, I guess it doesn’t work.” I tried my hand at a joke and he chuckled dryly.

“Go figure,” he looked at me and for the first time I got a good look at him. He was a very handsome man of some sort of Spanish lineage. His features were very exotic and his build was to die for. ‘What the hell was that lunatic thinking to cheat on such a man?’

“He was a fool, you know?”

“Who Harold? That he is because that was the last straw. I’m done.”

“I don’t even know how long she has been carrying on like this and honestly, I don’t care.”

“Unfortunately, this isn’t his first time cheating but it’s the first time I have caught him red-handed.”

“Damn, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I have a great divorce attorney if you decide to go that route.”

“Thank you but my sister is an attorney and she didn’t like my wife.”

“Oh, well that should be interesting.”

“Definitely,” he said sadly. “Maybe you shouldn’t go home tonight. Is there any chance he would become violent?”

“Him, hell no. Me on the other hand, you just never know.”

“I know this is the scene of the crime but you are welcome to stay here if you need to.”

“No thank you, that wouldn’t be appropriate. No telling how angry I may get all over again.”

“I can understand that but I may be asking because I need your assistance more than you need mine.” He said. “Seeing as though I did save you from a ride to the station, I mean you did break the law.”

“Are you trying to blackmail me officer Romirez? Shame on it all,” I mocked.

“Is it working?”

“…” Every nerve in my body was saying ‘hell yes’ and even my brain was on cue saying ‘what the hell.’ “Fine but you better have something to drink. And it better be on the strong side, I need it.”

“You and me both,” he gestured for me to follow his lead.


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